


One for the Blackmail File

by CrimeAlley1048



Category: Batfamily - Fandom, Batman (Comics), Batman and Robin (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 06:03:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4865783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimeAlley1048/pseuds/CrimeAlley1048
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tim Drake reacts to some pain meds, reveals far more than he meant to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One for the Blackmail File

“Like, he _literally_ tried to blow me up. With a severed head! And I’m like… I don’t even know how to deal with that, you know?”  
Even in Wayne Manor, that wasn’t something you expected to hear coming from your living room. Dick did a double take outside the door— when he stuck his head inside, he saw Jason sitting in an armchair (book in one hand, phone in the other) and Tim lying on the floor. Tim was gesturing vaguely above his own head. He looked pretty out of it.  
Dick recognized the signs. Every once in a while, Tim reacted to his pain medication— it probably had something to do with his caffeine intake, which was dangerously high on a good day— and he ended up on the floor. It was kind of similar to sleep talking, usually. He’d snap out of it after a few minutes.  
But until he did, they were going to have a _show_. Tim continued with his story.  
“So then we were fighting. We’re always fighting.”  
“Yeah,” Jason told him. He waved his phone in Dick’s direction and winked. “You fight a lot.”  
“That’s because he won’t leave me alone! He’s honestly the worst I don’t even—” Tim let one of his hands drop, but it fell directly onto his own face. “—ow. He’s so arrogant. Who does he think he is?”  
“Bruce’s son?”  
“So am I, you know.”  
“We know.”  
“So does he, I think.” Tim squeezed his eyes closed for a few seconds, then opened them again and glared at the ceiling. “He can make as many adoption jokes as he wants, but it won’t change the fact that I was here first.”  
“You tell him.”  
“I will.” Tim’s eyebrows narrowed even further, like the ceiling had offended him. “Is he home?”  
Jason glanced at Dick for confirmation. “No,” Dick told them, “he went with Bruce.”  
“Oh.” Tim sighed. “He annoys the hell out of me.”  
“Yeah.”  
“All he ever does is insult people. That’s not… that’s not nice, and I don’t appreciate it. Do you think he wakes up in the mornings and thinks ‘how can I hurt Tim’s feelings today?’ Because I do, I truly think that. He probably makes a list. He needs to grow up because he’s…” Tim trailed off for a few seconds. “Why is he so…?”  
“So what?”  
“He’s just—” Tim raised an arm above his head again and swung his hand back and forth. “He’s really—”  
“Really what?”  
“I don’t know! He’s…” Tim’s arm flopped down again. “Wait— small! Yeah.” Tim grinned, excited to have found his word, but then his face turned angry again. “He’s small, he’s too small, and I can’t take it anymore.”  
“I’m sorry,” Jason put his book aside slowly. “What did you just say?”  
“He’s _cute_ ,” Tim muttered, like cute was a dirty word. “I’m so tired of it. Make him stop.”  
“Oh my god,” Jason whispered. “This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”  
“I’m going to fight him until he stops.”  
“Please do that, Tim.”  
“How does he get away with this? First he’s small and then he’s… I’m supposed to be the smart one. What the hell. Literally what the hell?”  
“What else?”  
“He makes me so angry. Like… can somebody just tell him? Tell him he’s not a bad person. I don’t know why the hell he thinks that.” Tim blinked a couple of times. “Was it me? Did I do that?”  
“Uh—”  
“Damn it,” Tim sighed. “Okay, Dick can tell him. You can do that, right?”  
“Sure, Tim.”  
“I’ll just…” Tim’s eyes narrowed again. “I’m going to— why is your phone in my face?”  
“My what?” Jason clicked off his camera, and leaned back in his chair. “What phone?”  
“Why am I on the floor?”  
“I don’t know. You tell me.”  
“Dick, why am I on the floor?”  
“I think you fell,” Dick told him. He backed out the door slowly, without making eye contact. It was hard not to laugh. “I have to go now, okay?”  
On his way down the hall, his phone went off: one video message from Jason Todd.


End file.
